I am reading a facinating book called "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruez.
It speaks a lot about the concept of what we all believe love is. What exactly it is we are looking for.
Most of us go into relationships like people starving. We are full of unfullfilled needs. We are looking for someone else to fill in the blanks. To fill us up. Now imagine that you have in the center of your house a magic kitchen. In that kitchen you can always make the most amazing delicious food. You can out do any restaurant and any chef's creation you have ever tried. You will never again want for any taste sensation. It is all at your fingertips. And in fact it always has been.
The doorbell rings. Some person is standing at the door with a pizza. They look at you, and you look at them and they say " I can bring you pizza every day, if you let me into your life and let me control you. You will never go hungry again." I can tell you that with that magic kitchen behind me, I would laugh, say " no thank you, I have a magic kitchen where I can make my own pizza, in fact probably better pizza" and send them away. If you are starving, you will invite them in and start the process of hoping they will show up everyday. The process of worry and doubt, what if they don't show up? How will I survive?
I had a conversation with a friend a few weekends ago about an age old truism about relationships. There is always a lover, and a loved. There is always a slight imbalance and sometimes a large one. The power shifts in one direction or the other, and it is almost always about need. The one with greater need is the one who is the lover. The one with less need is the loved. In this way, we are always in the doorway waiting for that pizza guy to show up. What if we knew we could make it equal? Right now?
Guess what? Your heart is the magic kitchen. You already have a source for all of the love that you need in your life. It is open 24 hours, and it can create as much love as you need at any time. It is an inexhaustible resource. And what no one seems to understand, is that the moment you go into relationship with another human being expecting to have them serve you pizza, you have given them control over your happiness and that cannot help but end in disaster. No one can be responsible for your happiness. It is not their job. The moment we try to take responsibility for someone else's life or happiness we have just told them we do not respect them enough to believe that they are capable of creating their own story.
And that is all that life is. A dream dreamed by a dreamer about a dream. Central character ? You. Everyone else are secondary characters. Them you cannot change, not if you understand this process. If you don't like the dream change it from the inside. Doing that changes everything else. Not taking responsibility for other people's journey frees us up to actually choose to be truly in relationship to one another. To serve one another without needing each other to fill up perceived voids in our lives that we need to be filling from the inside. To operate from a position of abundance and freedom is to experience happiness in it's purest form. Self made happiness, an endless supply!
Your magic kitchen is open for business. Start filling yourself up instead of looking to others to do it for you and watch your life transform. When we operate from a position of abundance, when we are full, we can be fully present for the people we love in our lives and they can do the same for us.
Happy cooking!
In love and light,
Kathryn
It speaks a lot about the concept of what we all believe love is. What exactly it is we are looking for.
Most of us go into relationships like people starving. We are full of unfullfilled needs. We are looking for someone else to fill in the blanks. To fill us up. Now imagine that you have in the center of your house a magic kitchen. In that kitchen you can always make the most amazing delicious food. You can out do any restaurant and any chef's creation you have ever tried. You will never again want for any taste sensation. It is all at your fingertips. And in fact it always has been.
The doorbell rings. Some person is standing at the door with a pizza. They look at you, and you look at them and they say " I can bring you pizza every day, if you let me into your life and let me control you. You will never go hungry again." I can tell you that with that magic kitchen behind me, I would laugh, say " no thank you, I have a magic kitchen where I can make my own pizza, in fact probably better pizza" and send them away. If you are starving, you will invite them in and start the process of hoping they will show up everyday. The process of worry and doubt, what if they don't show up? How will I survive?
I had a conversation with a friend a few weekends ago about an age old truism about relationships. There is always a lover, and a loved. There is always a slight imbalance and sometimes a large one. The power shifts in one direction or the other, and it is almost always about need. The one with greater need is the one who is the lover. The one with less need is the loved. In this way, we are always in the doorway waiting for that pizza guy to show up. What if we knew we could make it equal? Right now?
Guess what? Your heart is the magic kitchen. You already have a source for all of the love that you need in your life. It is open 24 hours, and it can create as much love as you need at any time. It is an inexhaustible resource. And what no one seems to understand, is that the moment you go into relationship with another human being expecting to have them serve you pizza, you have given them control over your happiness and that cannot help but end in disaster. No one can be responsible for your happiness. It is not their job. The moment we try to take responsibility for someone else's life or happiness we have just told them we do not respect them enough to believe that they are capable of creating their own story.
And that is all that life is. A dream dreamed by a dreamer about a dream. Central character ? You. Everyone else are secondary characters. Them you cannot change, not if you understand this process. If you don't like the dream change it from the inside. Doing that changes everything else. Not taking responsibility for other people's journey frees us up to actually choose to be truly in relationship to one another. To serve one another without needing each other to fill up perceived voids in our lives that we need to be filling from the inside. To operate from a position of abundance and freedom is to experience happiness in it's purest form. Self made happiness, an endless supply!
Your magic kitchen is open for business. Start filling yourself up instead of looking to others to do it for you and watch your life transform. When we operate from a position of abundance, when we are full, we can be fully present for the people we love in our lives and they can do the same for us.
Happy cooking!
In love and light,
Kathryn
No comments:
Post a Comment