Ready, Set, Stretch.....

Stretch: "To move beyond one's comfort zone and realize that in moving from that space, beautiful growth and understanding is achieved. "

  Let me start by saying how grateful I am for everyone of you in my life. Wow. The support you have offered and simply given without being asked has been overwhelming. I am truly blessed in every corner of my life. May the divine allow that I give back in my lifetime to each of you tenfold of that which you have gifted me. Even then I think I would feel like the scale was tipped in my favour! Thank you for supporting my process and allowing me the space to get here in my own time.

   The last few weeks have been quite a journey. Surrender and Trust have been my mantras. I am painting my house and the process of moving furniture has lead to a number of cleansing processes. I am passing on all of the things I have held on to forever but haven't looked at in a coon's age. I have found many things I thought were lost. This has been a metaphor for my emotional life as well.  What I have noticed, is that when things get moved from the places they have always sat, it is somehow easier to surrender them. That got me thinking about what was happening on the inside of me as well. What things were shifting from where they have sat for the last 41 years, ready now to be released?

    My house is still in chaos but the process has been very therapeutic. I have taken truck loads of stuff to it's new homes. The colours are cheerful and very me. I feel happy in this space. I am home. It is a process of reclaiming and renewal. I am brightening on the inside and the out. Both spaces are now lit,  and my candle is burning.
 
   The Universe seems to send things down the conveyor belt exactly when I need them. Not always when I want them,  not on my time schedule, but definitely with a larger plan. I had a situation occur recently, that was as close a glimpse of the divine as I have seen in a while.

    Sometimes where we end up can look like it is totally incongruent with who we are. We stand with our hands on our hips thinking "How the hell did this happen? " I had a big one of those! But as always, when I found my patience, I was able to be a bit easier on myself and allow that there must have been a reason why I ended up in that place. Then I could laugh at myself and when I waited long enough for a little more of the mystery carpet to unroll, low and behold I was exactly where I was supposed to be in that moment. But I only figured that out when I had the courage to crawl way out to the very end of a thin branch and take a risk. Stretch. Put myself out there with no camouflage. Speak my truth and then sit quietly, humiliatingly, nakedly and uncomfortably (how's that for descriptive adjectives), and wait for an answer.

    The answer came in the most beautiful, kind and perfect way and illuminated that there was no mistake. Once again, the process was exactly what it was meant to be. And for me, it reinforced that speaking my truth and removing all the layers of protection that I sometimes armour myself up with, ended up bringing me closer to a new friend. In fact made it possible to cut through all the crap we do that makes relationships so unclear, so difficult to figure out. There in lies the gift. The treasure sitting right in front of us. When we come from a place of honesty there is truly very little risk, very little to fear. Fear is simply the illusion of separation from the divine. Clouds in the air may obscure the sky, but the sky is still up there. We cannot be separated from each other or the divine. The opposite of fear is actually beauty. Embracing all that is, as perfect in it's complexity or it's gentle simplicity. Perfect in it's lessons, if we choose to seek them in each moment.

    I am sure that there are some bumps ahead. I was having a conversation with a friend this morning and she commented that I seem like I am on a high. She is right. I feel content, centered and whole for the first time. I am firmly in the here and now. I am not looking forward or back. I am dipping my toes in the water and laughing at my own jokes. Sitting with my music and my cat on my lap, my dog under my feet feeling quite lucky and  lazy in the loveliest early afternoon way. She reminded me that when things shift, we always have choices, and that we can reach out to those around us and react with gratitude to regain that positive perspective. I nodded, but I think the biggest realization for me is that I am no longer afraid to allow whatever emotions are coming up to just come. Not to judge them as good or bad. To sit in that energy whatever it is and then let the emotion pass through me. It is like meditation. It is all mind stuff that gets in our way. The judgements about good or bad, right or wrong. My experience of it has been that if I can sit in it and not attach myself to it, it simply moves through me much faster than me trying to stuff the emotions I am not comfortable with back down. It is learning the lessons of surrender, allow and trust. Trusting the process to take me along the river where it wants me to be,  to where I already am on some level. What better company to arrive in than my own. To sit in the flow. To enjoy the ride.

    To stretch, and learn that sparky feeling that comes with it, is such a rush, and such an adventure! To remember that excitement and fear are physiologically the same. And from now on I am choosing excitement!

In love and light,
Kathryn