"Why?"
"Why would you miss your birthday and Thanksgiving Dinner to spend 11 hours a day meditating and not talking with a bunch of strangers?"
And then a slight confused tilt of the head as they waited for the reply.
It isn't the first question like this I have fielded.
My other favourite is "You fast for Ramadan? But you aren't Muslim, right?"
"Right." Smile.
How do you explain that once you begin to hear your own inner voice, that the directions get clearer than anything on the outside? That even when the directions don't seem to make sense to anyone else, that your own experience has been that when you listen to that voice every thing flows in your life without effort.
Those of you who know me, know my life is rich in ritual. I have things I do to prepare for these experiences. I had a vision of driving down the four hours, listening to an audiobook, or listening to music and just letting my mind drift, enjoying the silence of my own company. And then I got the email. You have been added to the ride share list. Now it isn't that I don't believe in cooperation or sharing, but I didn't put my name on that list for a reason, and now I was stumped! It said originally that you needed to sign up to be on the list and at the bottom of my email it said "if wish to remove your name, text 108 to this number". Hmmmm. Who wants to text "NO" to a divine number? Not biting on that one. And that was how I met Carmen.
Now Carmen was out by Niton Junction out by Edson. "I am leaving at 10 am", I wrote in my email, "and I would be happy to meet you at the Starbucks near my house". There. Boundaries set, ( which I am normally not very good at.) If I have to share a ride I can at least practice not letting my entire plan get changed. She wrote back that her ride to Edmonton had backed out and the only Greyhound once a day arrived not until 11:50am. It was a four hour drive and we were to be there no later than 5pm or they would give away your spot. Well after taking 2 weeks off and arranging everything else I wasn't willing to take that chance for someone I had never met! I explained the issue and she said she would look for another alternative.
I sat with myself and began to feel uncomfortable. Am I being too rigid with my boundaries? What is the lesson supposed to be here? I decided to email the Alberta Vipassana Foundation and tell them what was happening. After all they added me to the ride list. I asked if there might be a possibility of renegotiating the arrival time based on the issue as I would be very unhappy to lose my place and Carmen was looking at the possibility of having to cancel her course if we couldn't make it work. I had signed up almost 7 months ago and the possibility of cancelling would have been very upsetting to me and I assumed the same for her. The reply came within hours. "Please wait for her, absolutely we will renegotiate your arrival time." And moments later an email from Carmen saying she had come in a day early and would be staying overnight in Edmonton, ready to leave from the agreed spot at 10am.
l laughed to myself and wondered, was that an exercise simply in compassion for me? That when you can let go of your own agenda for a moment and consider someone else's situation, we will in the end let you do it the way you wanted? Funny.
It turns out Carmen is travelling from Germany and is a Physicist! We had an incredible conversation about quantam physics and spirituality that literally barely paused for the four hour trip. And several times I thought, I might have missed this if I had not trusted things were happening for a purpose.
I would not have wanted to miss that ride and that conversation for anything.
We arrived safely and checked in and they placed us in our room assignments. I got room 227, a number that for me is the reflection of relationship with self and the non local field. Perfect. And I was the only one without a room mate. Solitude. I felt grateful.
We had about an hour before silence was imposed and met a few other students. And then after a light supper it began. Men and women were separated in the building and our journey began.
In love and light,
Kathryn
"Why would you miss your birthday and Thanksgiving Dinner to spend 11 hours a day meditating and not talking with a bunch of strangers?"
And then a slight confused tilt of the head as they waited for the reply.
It isn't the first question like this I have fielded.
My other favourite is "You fast for Ramadan? But you aren't Muslim, right?"
"Right." Smile.
How do you explain that once you begin to hear your own inner voice, that the directions get clearer than anything on the outside? That even when the directions don't seem to make sense to anyone else, that your own experience has been that when you listen to that voice every thing flows in your life without effort.
Those of you who know me, know my life is rich in ritual. I have things I do to prepare for these experiences. I had a vision of driving down the four hours, listening to an audiobook, or listening to music and just letting my mind drift, enjoying the silence of my own company. And then I got the email. You have been added to the ride share list. Now it isn't that I don't believe in cooperation or sharing, but I didn't put my name on that list for a reason, and now I was stumped! It said originally that you needed to sign up to be on the list and at the bottom of my email it said "if wish to remove your name, text 108 to this number". Hmmmm. Who wants to text "NO" to a divine number? Not biting on that one. And that was how I met Carmen.
Now Carmen was out by Niton Junction out by Edson. "I am leaving at 10 am", I wrote in my email, "and I would be happy to meet you at the Starbucks near my house". There. Boundaries set, ( which I am normally not very good at.) If I have to share a ride I can at least practice not letting my entire plan get changed. She wrote back that her ride to Edmonton had backed out and the only Greyhound once a day arrived not until 11:50am. It was a four hour drive and we were to be there no later than 5pm or they would give away your spot. Well after taking 2 weeks off and arranging everything else I wasn't willing to take that chance for someone I had never met! I explained the issue and she said she would look for another alternative.
I sat with myself and began to feel uncomfortable. Am I being too rigid with my boundaries? What is the lesson supposed to be here? I decided to email the Alberta Vipassana Foundation and tell them what was happening. After all they added me to the ride list. I asked if there might be a possibility of renegotiating the arrival time based on the issue as I would be very unhappy to lose my place and Carmen was looking at the possibility of having to cancel her course if we couldn't make it work. I had signed up almost 7 months ago and the possibility of cancelling would have been very upsetting to me and I assumed the same for her. The reply came within hours. "Please wait for her, absolutely we will renegotiate your arrival time." And moments later an email from Carmen saying she had come in a day early and would be staying overnight in Edmonton, ready to leave from the agreed spot at 10am.
l laughed to myself and wondered, was that an exercise simply in compassion for me? That when you can let go of your own agenda for a moment and consider someone else's situation, we will in the end let you do it the way you wanted? Funny.
It turns out Carmen is travelling from Germany and is a Physicist! We had an incredible conversation about quantam physics and spirituality that literally barely paused for the four hour trip. And several times I thought, I might have missed this if I had not trusted things were happening for a purpose.
I would not have wanted to miss that ride and that conversation for anything.
We arrived safely and checked in and they placed us in our room assignments. I got room 227, a number that for me is the reflection of relationship with self and the non local field. Perfect. And I was the only one without a room mate. Solitude. I felt grateful.
We had about an hour before silence was imposed and met a few other students. And then after a light supper it began. Men and women were separated in the building and our journey began.
In love and light,
Kathryn
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