So why 11 hours of meditation a day?
I have meditated for a long time. I can sit for two hours without an issue. And I like it. But I am not an angry person, or someone trying to navigate a lot of anxiety or anything else. I am pretty happy and peaceful. So it wasn't adding much.
I thought maybe it would increase my intuition. My ability to hear my inner voice. But even that was pretty much the same. And yet I am all about discipline. I wanted to practice. But I needed there to be a reason. An outcome.
Vipassana was the technique Buddha used to become enlightened. It was all but lost except for one teaching line which kept the technique pure for over 2500 years. I didn't know any more than that when I signed up. But it was enough to peak my interest.
I have taught an advanced meditation class on Buddha. He is an interesting dude. He recognized that we are born into suffering or "dukkha", it is the human condition. And he believed there was a way out of it. All of the teachings of the day, (and now actually in terms of religion) is that human suffering is created by craving and aversion. We either want something we don't have, or we have something we don't want. They all agree. We have 6 sense doors ( eyes, ears, smell, etc) and when an object comes in contact with the senses it results in one or the other. Craving or aversion. What no one got, was how to solve that. Many religions forbid the objects themselves thinking that if you never get tempted you can avoid suffering. I would say that has had limited success.
And crazier than that, when you have one craving or aversion you have to picture this. From that one craving or aversion, it is like you take that seed, toss it ahead of you on your path, and that seed creates a whole tree of craving or aversion that then over it's life has 1000 fruits each with 10,000 seeds. So from that one craving or aversion you have sown 10,000,000 cravings or aversions ahead of you on the path. These are called Samskaras. We sow the seeds of our own misery from the impurities within our minds.
Buddha sat beneath the Bodhi tree and decided he was not going to move a single muscle until he was enlightened. He would sit long enough that they could sweep away his bones if they had to. As a result he experienced a great deal of pain and sensation in his body and he realized that that as he stayed with them, they all came and went. Everything was impermanent. What is born dies. What goes up must come down. Nothing lasts. Suffering results from defilements in the mind and by becoming clean in one's actions, using right focus, we could experience wisdom arising from the body that begins to purify the mind.
In Vipassana we deal with a concept called Dhamma. Dhamma as I understand it is the Universal Law of Impermanence. Dhamma has three parts, the first is Sila or moral actions. The second is samma samadhi, or right focus, and the third is bhavana-maya panna or experienced wisdom.
There were 5 precepts we were asked to accept before the course ever started. They were as follows:
1. no killing of other beings ( read, this is a vegetarian experience and don't kill the flies)
2. no sexual misconduct ( read this is a celibate retreat, no messing with others or yourself lol)
3. no telling lies ( and in order to do this we will make it easy and just have you not speak)
4. no stealing
5. no intoxicants
I learned that these are what are called Sila. They are the foundation of one's moral code. The beginning of laying the foundation of the process. Students returning for a second course observe three more
6. no high and luxurious beds
7. no evening meal ( only tea)
8. no bodily adornments
The second piece is samma- samadhi. Right focus. This was the actual experiential portion of the course where we first began to observe our breath as it passed in and out. No words. Just observing the natural flow. It is easy to focus the mind using words but you realize quickly that soon the in and out don't actually match what you are doing. We are just asked to observe. And when we could do that we were asked to focus on the sensation arising in the triangle of the nose. A small area to begin to focus the mind. And then only the upper lip. Now 11 hours sounds like a lot but there were a lot of breaks and there was a lot to practice. It was very relaxing.
And what I began to notice was that good feelings would come and then inevitably pass, and so did any pain I had. When I focused on the pain, it intensified. Became almost unbearable. But when I followed the instructions and pulled back to observe it, I realized it was constantly moving. Always different and changing and then as quickly as it came, it would dissolve. It was fascinating. I have always had pain if I sit too long and I always shift positions only to find two minutes later everything hurts again. This was in incredible lesson for me. Wisdom.
Bhavana-maya panna. Experienced Wisdom. The understanding on an experiential level that all things are impermanent. I had this experience.
Now once you understand, and begin to practice the art of observing and not reacting, you stop creating new Samskaras. No new seeds are thrown out ahead of you, and the Samskaras will rise to the surface where they can be pulled out by the root. We begin to purify the mind by uprooting the impurities. The mind becomes stable and peaceful. There is huge significance to this in terms of addictions. Many things we do operate only at the surface levels of the mind. Vipassana works at the deeper levels to uproot these impurities and heal them.
One night during the discourse it really hit home. I almost lost both of my children in childbirth. One premature delivery two months early in our bedroom and one where my water broke at 18 weeks and resulted in a dramatic 128 day hospital stay. And when it was over, that fear of loss never went away. I was married to the medical examiner who would come home and tell me all the ways that children died. I became a neurotic mother, entering a room scanning for anything that could be a hazard to my children. At a crisis point, I had a moment of clarity where I remember having a firm conversation with myself. You can't live like this. What if one of them dies? Will you be the only mother who has ever lost a child? NO. Millions of women across the globe must navigate the death of their children. And you too will survive.
Mr Goenka, our teacher that night told a story of a woman who came to Buddha asking him to bring her child back to life. She had struggled to get pregnant and the boy died at 2. She would not let them take the body saying he was only sleeping. She begged Buddha to help her. He told her he would help her if she would go to the city and bring back a handful of sesame from a house where no one had died. She went door to door and all were willing to give her sesame, but every house had the death of a father, mother, aunt, uncle, brother or sister or grandparent. She covered the whole city and realized the lesson. Death comes to us all. She returned to Buddha and he instructed her in Dhamma and taught her Vipassana that she might be liberated from suffering.
Everything is impermanent. And the lesson is "be present". Enjoy what is here for this will also change. And in times of difficulty know, that this will also change. Nothing lasts.
Intellectually I know this lesson well. But experiencing it within my own body has brought an understanding I could not achieve through reading.
It is interesting how long the days are without the distraction of Facebook and computers and cell phones. How clear my mind was as I walked the garden free from it's usual chatter. The space around me was clean and expansive. I felt so peaceful. And yet I was doing the math, day 2, hmmm. that means 8 days left and then I snapped to attention. BE PRESENT was what I heard in my mind. Only this moment matters. And I let the counting go.
In love and light,
Kathryn
I have meditated for a long time. I can sit for two hours without an issue. And I like it. But I am not an angry person, or someone trying to navigate a lot of anxiety or anything else. I am pretty happy and peaceful. So it wasn't adding much.
I thought maybe it would increase my intuition. My ability to hear my inner voice. But even that was pretty much the same. And yet I am all about discipline. I wanted to practice. But I needed there to be a reason. An outcome.
Vipassana was the technique Buddha used to become enlightened. It was all but lost except for one teaching line which kept the technique pure for over 2500 years. I didn't know any more than that when I signed up. But it was enough to peak my interest.
I have taught an advanced meditation class on Buddha. He is an interesting dude. He recognized that we are born into suffering or "dukkha", it is the human condition. And he believed there was a way out of it. All of the teachings of the day, (and now actually in terms of religion) is that human suffering is created by craving and aversion. We either want something we don't have, or we have something we don't want. They all agree. We have 6 sense doors ( eyes, ears, smell, etc) and when an object comes in contact with the senses it results in one or the other. Craving or aversion. What no one got, was how to solve that. Many religions forbid the objects themselves thinking that if you never get tempted you can avoid suffering. I would say that has had limited success.
And crazier than that, when you have one craving or aversion you have to picture this. From that one craving or aversion, it is like you take that seed, toss it ahead of you on your path, and that seed creates a whole tree of craving or aversion that then over it's life has 1000 fruits each with 10,000 seeds. So from that one craving or aversion you have sown 10,000,000 cravings or aversions ahead of you on the path. These are called Samskaras. We sow the seeds of our own misery from the impurities within our minds.
Buddha sat beneath the Bodhi tree and decided he was not going to move a single muscle until he was enlightened. He would sit long enough that they could sweep away his bones if they had to. As a result he experienced a great deal of pain and sensation in his body and he realized that that as he stayed with them, they all came and went. Everything was impermanent. What is born dies. What goes up must come down. Nothing lasts. Suffering results from defilements in the mind and by becoming clean in one's actions, using right focus, we could experience wisdom arising from the body that begins to purify the mind.
In Vipassana we deal with a concept called Dhamma. Dhamma as I understand it is the Universal Law of Impermanence. Dhamma has three parts, the first is Sila or moral actions. The second is samma samadhi, or right focus, and the third is bhavana-maya panna or experienced wisdom.
There were 5 precepts we were asked to accept before the course ever started. They were as follows:
1. no killing of other beings ( read, this is a vegetarian experience and don't kill the flies)
2. no sexual misconduct ( read this is a celibate retreat, no messing with others or yourself lol)
3. no telling lies ( and in order to do this we will make it easy and just have you not speak)
4. no stealing
5. no intoxicants
I learned that these are what are called Sila. They are the foundation of one's moral code. The beginning of laying the foundation of the process. Students returning for a second course observe three more
6. no high and luxurious beds
7. no evening meal ( only tea)
8. no bodily adornments
The second piece is samma- samadhi. Right focus. This was the actual experiential portion of the course where we first began to observe our breath as it passed in and out. No words. Just observing the natural flow. It is easy to focus the mind using words but you realize quickly that soon the in and out don't actually match what you are doing. We are just asked to observe. And when we could do that we were asked to focus on the sensation arising in the triangle of the nose. A small area to begin to focus the mind. And then only the upper lip. Now 11 hours sounds like a lot but there were a lot of breaks and there was a lot to practice. It was very relaxing.
And what I began to notice was that good feelings would come and then inevitably pass, and so did any pain I had. When I focused on the pain, it intensified. Became almost unbearable. But when I followed the instructions and pulled back to observe it, I realized it was constantly moving. Always different and changing and then as quickly as it came, it would dissolve. It was fascinating. I have always had pain if I sit too long and I always shift positions only to find two minutes later everything hurts again. This was in incredible lesson for me. Wisdom.
Bhavana-maya panna. Experienced Wisdom. The understanding on an experiential level that all things are impermanent. I had this experience.
Now once you understand, and begin to practice the art of observing and not reacting, you stop creating new Samskaras. No new seeds are thrown out ahead of you, and the Samskaras will rise to the surface where they can be pulled out by the root. We begin to purify the mind by uprooting the impurities. The mind becomes stable and peaceful. There is huge significance to this in terms of addictions. Many things we do operate only at the surface levels of the mind. Vipassana works at the deeper levels to uproot these impurities and heal them.
One night during the discourse it really hit home. I almost lost both of my children in childbirth. One premature delivery two months early in our bedroom and one where my water broke at 18 weeks and resulted in a dramatic 128 day hospital stay. And when it was over, that fear of loss never went away. I was married to the medical examiner who would come home and tell me all the ways that children died. I became a neurotic mother, entering a room scanning for anything that could be a hazard to my children. At a crisis point, I had a moment of clarity where I remember having a firm conversation with myself. You can't live like this. What if one of them dies? Will you be the only mother who has ever lost a child? NO. Millions of women across the globe must navigate the death of their children. And you too will survive.
Mr Goenka, our teacher that night told a story of a woman who came to Buddha asking him to bring her child back to life. She had struggled to get pregnant and the boy died at 2. She would not let them take the body saying he was only sleeping. She begged Buddha to help her. He told her he would help her if she would go to the city and bring back a handful of sesame from a house where no one had died. She went door to door and all were willing to give her sesame, but every house had the death of a father, mother, aunt, uncle, brother or sister or grandparent. She covered the whole city and realized the lesson. Death comes to us all. She returned to Buddha and he instructed her in Dhamma and taught her Vipassana that she might be liberated from suffering.
Everything is impermanent. And the lesson is "be present". Enjoy what is here for this will also change. And in times of difficulty know, that this will also change. Nothing lasts.
Intellectually I know this lesson well. But experiencing it within my own body has brought an understanding I could not achieve through reading.
It is interesting how long the days are without the distraction of Facebook and computers and cell phones. How clear my mind was as I walked the garden free from it's usual chatter. The space around me was clean and expansive. I felt so peaceful. And yet I was doing the math, day 2, hmmm. that means 8 days left and then I snapped to attention. BE PRESENT was what I heard in my mind. Only this moment matters. And I let the counting go.
In love and light,
Kathryn
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