Well after a bit of a hiatus from the writing I am ready to start again! I am finding that I have been busy with so many new experiences that I have been journaling rather than blogging. Sorry to leave you out of the loop. There seems to be a difference for me in that the journaling allows me to sort through what is happening in my head, and the blogging is what I have come up with and am ready to share with the world. I have been in another period of intense learning and processing this last few months.
I have made a concerted effort in the last few months to book something interesting each month to look forward to. Kind of a string of carrots to keep me anticipating, moving forward and optomistic. Sometimes it is just a weekend, sometimes a bigger trip. I ended up in Ireland for a week on a spiritual tour of sacred stone circles in late September. I had heard about the trip months earlier and couldn't get it out of my mind.
I was having a moment on a beach in Jamaica last year, where it popped into my head, and as I was looking out over the blue green water, a large Catamaran in front of me swung around to reveal a green yellow and black picture. I assumed since those are Jamaican colours that it was a Jamaican boat until I saw the outline of a huge Leprechan and the words "fighting Irish"! All right Universe, I get it. I booked the trip!
There were 12 of us on that trip, some new friends and some old friends from other trips. The dynamic was amazing. I laughed for the entire week. Sometimes to the point I was crying and couldn't breathe!
What I realized is how very much I miss that in my life. I am built for joy and for laughter. I also realized that it is really not that hard to create those situations. I can do it every day in every moment. That humour shows up everywhere. I just have to take the lens I see the world through and tilt it 45 degrees like a crooked frame. Everything looks new and just a bit more entertaining. Even falling in a bog takes on its own charm! I am not afraid to share the deepest parts of me with the people I love, for I have learned that in risking that, all other risk falls away. And the depths that those relationships can find even in a week, were so intensely meaningful to me that I almost have no words to explain. I am going to more conciously choose to operate at this level because the feeling of connection it gave me was quite magical.
The energy created in that group was amazing, healing and sacred in its own way. We shared moments that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Something happened to me in that place that blew me wide open and my energy has shifted in a very significant and beautiful way. I am without fear, without regret. I am ready to blossom and find my place in the wind. To open my arms and my soul to all that is on it's way to me.
I followed that week closely with the silent meditation retreat ( the same one I had completed in April) which was a great way to condense and distill everything that had happened to me in Ireland. Part way through sitting quietly in my room and looking out the window, I thought about what a different experience I was having this time than I did during my retreat in April. At that time I had stepped out of a very intense personal situation and was seeking complete solitude and surrender. I think I slept at every offered break, ate, and meditated. I slept about 16-18 hours a day for those two and a half days. My body was in complete survival mode and in the time I was not thirsting for the silence and stillness, I was seeking the nothingness and oblivion of sleep. I am in such a different place now. This time I was alert and clear. I journalled, I did yoga and I sat for hours just taking in everything around me. What a difference six months makes. What a difference my choices have made. I am finally at peace with myself and I have digested my experiences and incorporated the new epiphanies and understandings into the fabric of my being. I feel whole for the first time in my life.
Next month friends spontaneously invited me to go to Vegas for the weekend to celebrate a special birthday. So I said yes to that too. And I am so glad I did. Perhaps it is as easy as that. Saying yes to what life offers. Opening doors. Opening hearts. Opening my arms to life. And laughing as I watch what the Universe delivers to my door........Thank God it has the same sense of humour that I do!
In love and light,
Kathryn
I have made a concerted effort in the last few months to book something interesting each month to look forward to. Kind of a string of carrots to keep me anticipating, moving forward and optomistic. Sometimes it is just a weekend, sometimes a bigger trip. I ended up in Ireland for a week on a spiritual tour of sacred stone circles in late September. I had heard about the trip months earlier and couldn't get it out of my mind.
I was having a moment on a beach in Jamaica last year, where it popped into my head, and as I was looking out over the blue green water, a large Catamaran in front of me swung around to reveal a green yellow and black picture. I assumed since those are Jamaican colours that it was a Jamaican boat until I saw the outline of a huge Leprechan and the words "fighting Irish"! All right Universe, I get it. I booked the trip!
There were 12 of us on that trip, some new friends and some old friends from other trips. The dynamic was amazing. I laughed for the entire week. Sometimes to the point I was crying and couldn't breathe!
What I realized is how very much I miss that in my life. I am built for joy and for laughter. I also realized that it is really not that hard to create those situations. I can do it every day in every moment. That humour shows up everywhere. I just have to take the lens I see the world through and tilt it 45 degrees like a crooked frame. Everything looks new and just a bit more entertaining. Even falling in a bog takes on its own charm! I am not afraid to share the deepest parts of me with the people I love, for I have learned that in risking that, all other risk falls away. And the depths that those relationships can find even in a week, were so intensely meaningful to me that I almost have no words to explain. I am going to more conciously choose to operate at this level because the feeling of connection it gave me was quite magical.
The energy created in that group was amazing, healing and sacred in its own way. We shared moments that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Something happened to me in that place that blew me wide open and my energy has shifted in a very significant and beautiful way. I am without fear, without regret. I am ready to blossom and find my place in the wind. To open my arms and my soul to all that is on it's way to me.
I followed that week closely with the silent meditation retreat ( the same one I had completed in April) which was a great way to condense and distill everything that had happened to me in Ireland. Part way through sitting quietly in my room and looking out the window, I thought about what a different experience I was having this time than I did during my retreat in April. At that time I had stepped out of a very intense personal situation and was seeking complete solitude and surrender. I think I slept at every offered break, ate, and meditated. I slept about 16-18 hours a day for those two and a half days. My body was in complete survival mode and in the time I was not thirsting for the silence and stillness, I was seeking the nothingness and oblivion of sleep. I am in such a different place now. This time I was alert and clear. I journalled, I did yoga and I sat for hours just taking in everything around me. What a difference six months makes. What a difference my choices have made. I am finally at peace with myself and I have digested my experiences and incorporated the new epiphanies and understandings into the fabric of my being. I feel whole for the first time in my life.
Next month friends spontaneously invited me to go to Vegas for the weekend to celebrate a special birthday. So I said yes to that too. And I am so glad I did. Perhaps it is as easy as that. Saying yes to what life offers. Opening doors. Opening hearts. Opening my arms to life. And laughing as I watch what the Universe delivers to my door........Thank God it has the same sense of humour that I do!
In love and light,
Kathryn
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