I am trying an experiment as part of my Goddess homework. In the realm of sound, this week I have turned off all extraneous sounds in my personal space. I have driven to work without the radio in the car, eaten my breakfast without the radio or television and walked outside without my Ipod plugged into my head.
The most amazing thing happened. Time seemed to expand for me. In a very real sense, what I noticed was that without doing anything else, it suddenly seemed like I had a lot more time and space. Mornings became something to leisurely linger over, watching birds in the backyard, sipping tea, petting the dog. The drive to work became time to ponder how beautiful the river valley is, on the same road I have driven mindlessly to work over twice a day for the last sixteen years. My own voice was suddenly clear in my head. Easily and effortlessly heard. Walking for an hour became about listening to the rhythm of my breathing and listening to the sound of my own heart. Being aware and watching for the gifts coming to me on the wind.
I wondered briefly if I would feel lonely. I think for a long time, I have used sounds to fill the space around me so that I didn't feel alone. Almost to drown out that little voice in my head in case it said something I didn't want to hear. The beauty and the gift of having the courage to step into a place of silence has been that I actually feel less alone than I have ever felt. I feel an incredible sense of peace and well being. I am beginning to get a sense of what it would feel like to be complete. Whole.
That voice, instead of being the critical voice I remember, has in fact been a voice of love and acceptance. The voice of a loving friend and companion. My own voice. My greatest wish was to fall in love with myself,
and to my own wonder, the process has begun. A dear friend quoted a song that I love to me, and I posted the words on Facebook. " Change the voices, in your head, make them like you instead..... ", the critics are always out there. I just don't have to choose to be one of them. I am sharing the kindness and generosity that fills my heart with myself. The one I used to look to last.
In the sweetness of silence, my world has become bigger on the inside, than on the outside. And in that space, I find myself joyfully dancing in gowns of silk and gold, feeling more beautiful than I have ever felt before......
In love and light,
Kathryn
The most amazing thing happened. Time seemed to expand for me. In a very real sense, what I noticed was that without doing anything else, it suddenly seemed like I had a lot more time and space. Mornings became something to leisurely linger over, watching birds in the backyard, sipping tea, petting the dog. The drive to work became time to ponder how beautiful the river valley is, on the same road I have driven mindlessly to work over twice a day for the last sixteen years. My own voice was suddenly clear in my head. Easily and effortlessly heard. Walking for an hour became about listening to the rhythm of my breathing and listening to the sound of my own heart. Being aware and watching for the gifts coming to me on the wind.
I wondered briefly if I would feel lonely. I think for a long time, I have used sounds to fill the space around me so that I didn't feel alone. Almost to drown out that little voice in my head in case it said something I didn't want to hear. The beauty and the gift of having the courage to step into a place of silence has been that I actually feel less alone than I have ever felt. I feel an incredible sense of peace and well being. I am beginning to get a sense of what it would feel like to be complete. Whole.
That voice, instead of being the critical voice I remember, has in fact been a voice of love and acceptance. The voice of a loving friend and companion. My own voice. My greatest wish was to fall in love with myself,
and to my own wonder, the process has begun. A dear friend quoted a song that I love to me, and I posted the words on Facebook. " Change the voices, in your head, make them like you instead..... ", the critics are always out there. I just don't have to choose to be one of them. I am sharing the kindness and generosity that fills my heart with myself. The one I used to look to last.
In the sweetness of silence, my world has become bigger on the inside, than on the outside. And in that space, I find myself joyfully dancing in gowns of silk and gold, feeling more beautiful than I have ever felt before......
In love and light,
Kathryn
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