I had a very meaningful conversation with one of my staff at the end of my day today. I was sitting in my office catching up on a stack of charts that was climbing half way up my wall when she wandered into my office to chat.
We have had parallel relationship experiences, and she is feeling like she is still hooked in, but not understanding why. We talked about how our experiences were alike and the difficulties she is still facing.
She has a very real feeling of "missing the boat" in her life. Like somewhere she has made a wrong turn and is going away from, instead of towards her "happy ending". There is a lot of fear about not ending up where she would like to end up.
I shared something with her that has been very meaningful to me. Lots of people think of life as offering only a few "golden rings". Opportunities that come up at a specific point in time, that unless you reach out and grab them, you miss out on a once in a lifetime thing. I don't believe that. Not at all. In fact, I think those rings are rotating above our heads all the time, like we are on some big merry-go-round. I think we don't even see them until we are ready, until we have what we need to be able to jump up and grab them. When we add to our learning about ourselves, suddenly the veil is lifted and presto, there is a ring. I don't believe there is only one way to get to our destiny. In fact I what I know to be true, is that if we make a decision that leads away from our destiny, somewhere along the line we make two steps the other way that correct us to the center again. The path is never a straight one, nor should it be (that would be dull). But I do trust that my zigzagging path is always going the exact way it is meant to go.
That faith or trust in the Universe allows me to let go of the rest of it and focus on the lessons in what is right in front of me. I never worry about whether I am on the right road, I am paying attention instead to the cars and the passengers I meet. There is beautiful surrender in that. Would understanding that change how you approach each day? Nickelback says it pretty well ... " would you donate every time you're asked.....would you make your mark, by mending a broken heart... " When you aren't worried if you are even in the right place, it is a lot easier to stay present in the moment, is it not? To be in service to yourself and the people you love? Isn't that what all the books are telling us we should be doing? Staying in the now!
We have choices in every moment. We are the masters of our own fate. Thanks to technology, if we want to have kids and haven't met that right person by the time biology is reaching it's limit, we still have options. I do believe we all have an amazing destiny by birthright. We can choose through our life choices to embrace or deny that. It is ultimately the gift of "free will" that only humans have been given, that decides the outcome. The key is making the best decisions you can listening to your heart and using the information you have at the time. And remembering the path was never meant to be straight.
Understanding that each of us is a worthwhile person, an individual, as bright and beautiful as a ray of light is the first step to understanding that we can't pretend to be something we are not in relationships. When someone comes into our lives with a list of what we need to do to be "better" or we find someone who is in love with our "potential" as a mate, it is important to remember none of us are "fixer-uppers". We either match or we don't. There is never a time when we need to overhaul ourselves to meet someone else's expectations. That is part of understanding and loving yourself enough to walk away from these relationships with your self esteem intact and try again with someone else. When we get that part, life becomes easier somehow. We can kick back and start to enjoy the ride instead of white knuckling it. Life is too short to navigate with finger prints embedded in the dashboard people!
In love and light,
Kathryn
We have had parallel relationship experiences, and she is feeling like she is still hooked in, but not understanding why. We talked about how our experiences were alike and the difficulties she is still facing.
She has a very real feeling of "missing the boat" in her life. Like somewhere she has made a wrong turn and is going away from, instead of towards her "happy ending". There is a lot of fear about not ending up where she would like to end up.
I shared something with her that has been very meaningful to me. Lots of people think of life as offering only a few "golden rings". Opportunities that come up at a specific point in time, that unless you reach out and grab them, you miss out on a once in a lifetime thing. I don't believe that. Not at all. In fact, I think those rings are rotating above our heads all the time, like we are on some big merry-go-round. I think we don't even see them until we are ready, until we have what we need to be able to jump up and grab them. When we add to our learning about ourselves, suddenly the veil is lifted and presto, there is a ring. I don't believe there is only one way to get to our destiny. In fact I what I know to be true, is that if we make a decision that leads away from our destiny, somewhere along the line we make two steps the other way that correct us to the center again. The path is never a straight one, nor should it be (that would be dull). But I do trust that my zigzagging path is always going the exact way it is meant to go.
That faith or trust in the Universe allows me to let go of the rest of it and focus on the lessons in what is right in front of me. I never worry about whether I am on the right road, I am paying attention instead to the cars and the passengers I meet. There is beautiful surrender in that. Would understanding that change how you approach each day? Nickelback says it pretty well ... " would you donate every time you're asked.....would you make your mark, by mending a broken heart... " When you aren't worried if you are even in the right place, it is a lot easier to stay present in the moment, is it not? To be in service to yourself and the people you love? Isn't that what all the books are telling us we should be doing? Staying in the now!
We have choices in every moment. We are the masters of our own fate. Thanks to technology, if we want to have kids and haven't met that right person by the time biology is reaching it's limit, we still have options. I do believe we all have an amazing destiny by birthright. We can choose through our life choices to embrace or deny that. It is ultimately the gift of "free will" that only humans have been given, that decides the outcome. The key is making the best decisions you can listening to your heart and using the information you have at the time. And remembering the path was never meant to be straight.
Understanding that each of us is a worthwhile person, an individual, as bright and beautiful as a ray of light is the first step to understanding that we can't pretend to be something we are not in relationships. When someone comes into our lives with a list of what we need to do to be "better" or we find someone who is in love with our "potential" as a mate, it is important to remember none of us are "fixer-uppers". We either match or we don't. There is never a time when we need to overhaul ourselves to meet someone else's expectations. That is part of understanding and loving yourself enough to walk away from these relationships with your self esteem intact and try again with someone else. When we get that part, life becomes easier somehow. We can kick back and start to enjoy the ride instead of white knuckling it. Life is too short to navigate with finger prints embedded in the dashboard people!
In love and light,
Kathryn
No comments:
Post a Comment